One of my very best friends, Amy, is a photographer and a FANTASTIC one at that. I feel so blessed to call her my friend and to be able to go through life’s ups and downs with her. She was able to take my maternity pictures with Fynnock and I think they turned out amazing.
This pregnancy was hard for my because it was my first pregnancy after getting diagnosed with Graves Disease and gaining 40 lbs in 2 months and then having my left eye go a bit crazy because of Thyroid Eye Disease. I felt huge and ugly. Kids always comment on how creepy my eye is and ask me why it looks so scary. I try to laugh it off and make jokes about it with them and tell them that it scares me too as I explain why it looks the way it does, but in all honestly its hard for me to look in the mirror or look at pictures of myself. I try to avoid both at all costs, but the reality is that until I can get surgery to fix the eye this is me. I didn’t even want to do maternity pictures this time because of my eye but this is what I look like right now and this will mean something to Fynnock one day.
It’s hard to not want to hide from all cameras and avoid social contact because I hate the way I look and I hate how scary I’m sure I appear to other people, but again this is me. I’ve learned a lot in the past year of having my eye look the way it does and the weird looks I get from people. I have learned a lot about looking past what we see on the outside and focusing on the inside. I have learned that no matter what I look like I can’t hide from the world because that’s telling the world that its okay to judge me for the way I look.