We had the Missionaries from our church over for dinner one night a few months ago and they read my kids a story called “You are Special” by Max Lucado.
The story is about a town full of Wemmicks, little wooden people, who go around giving out stickers all day long. They give out Gold stars if you look nice, can do cool tricks, or are seen as “special” in their eyes. They also go around giving out gray dots. These dots are for people who are seen as flawed, with scratches in their wood, chipped paint, or other “imperfections”. They also get gray dots if they can’t jump high enough or perform other acts viewed as special by the rest of the Wemmicks. One little Wemmick never gets Gold stars. His paint is chipped, his wood is scarred and his has no “special abilities”. He has become very depressed by the amount of gray dots he wears on his wood like some type of leper mark. He eventually meets his maker and learns from the one who created him, just how perfect he truly is. His creator/builder tells the little Wemmick that he is perfect and that he loves him. When the Wemmick inquires why/how, the maker responds by telling him that he made him, and he doesn’t make mistakes, he sees him as nothing short of special. He tells the little Wemmick that he alone has control over whether or not those gray dots stick to him. The Wemmick learns that he has the power to control those Gray dots. Because in the end all that matters is how his maker feels about himself and how he feels about himself. The Wemmick left there and went out into the world with courage to be himself. He helped other see that they too were special regardless of if they had Gray dots or Gold Stars. The words of the world didn’t matter anymore because the words of the ONE who truly matters spoke louder than anything the world could say.
This story touched me very deeply and spoke loudly to me a message that I have been hearing for months already.
You are enough!!
You do matter!!
The Lord created you and the Lord doesn’t make mistakes!!
I felt so many emotions when I heard this that I knew I needed to share them with y’all.
God doesn’t make mistakes. He just doesn’t.
The world doesn’t get to decide if we are good enough. Because we are always good enough in the Lords eyes.
There isn’t some measuring stick or height requirement that we have to meet before the Lord pours out his love for us. There isn’t a point where we have become who he views as perfect and will step in and show us his love.
He always loves us.
I have learned that when I let fear take over or when I deem myself “not good enough” that I am hurting the ones who love me the most. When I think about my kids, I want them to know just how amazing they are. I want them to see the special abilities and know that they are one of a kind, that they do matter and that they are enough. I want so badly for these things to sink in and for them to not let the fear of failure or of not being good enough stop them from even trying. How ironic is that? I want those things for my kids but I wasn’t allowing myself those same hopes and wasn’t seeing myself that way.
I started this blog as a way for me to share with anyone who cared to listen, my journey to find and keep joy in this life. Honestly at first it wasn’t even for anyone else. It as just for me, as a way to vocalize my feelings and put into words how I was feeling. Somewhere along the way people started sharing with me how this blog gave them hope, how they could relate to things I was going through and how they were grateful that I had the courage to share “the hard stuff” like; Postpartum depression, raising a son with Autism, life trials, being the wife of a recovering pornography addict, health trials with my kids (one of many), having 5 kids, and going through many health struggles (kidney disease and Graves Disease). I realized one day that my trials were not simply my own. They weren’t something I could keep bottled up inside me when they could help others if I had the courage to share.
Again God doesn’t make mistakes, which means that so many of the things I have gone through in this life have been for a reason, they have taught me and I have grown so much. I felt like God was telling me that part of my journey was to share it with others. This path through life isn’t meant to be walked alone. All through life we have people scattered along our path that are there for a reason. We may not know what that reason is but it’s definitely not to make us feel like we are less than or that we are not perfect. We all are full or gray dots, we all have imperfections and are flawed, we all have chips in our exteriors and gashes on our hearts but I have learned that the trick with any gray dot, is to embrace them. There is no sense in hiding them or being ashamed of them because they are what make us who we are and who we are is perfect, dings and all. I know without a doubt that I wouldn’t be who I am today without all of those gray dots, they are just as much a part of me as any Gold Star and when I learn to embrace them they all become Gold stars because they are become beautiful in their imperfections. And those people who have crowded my path, they need to see my Gray Dots just as much as my Gold Stars because I am not truly me without both of them. I don’t want to show the world that I am flawless because that’s just simply not true. I am flawed and because of those flaws I am beautiful.
I used to let fear of the unknown stop me from trying. Have any of y’all ever done that before?
I am so insanely guilty of it, it’s not even funny. I worry that I don’t have the talent, skill, knowledge or ability to do something, so instead of trying and possibly actually succeeding I let the fear of failure take over and I just don’t do it. Now of course this hasn’t always been the case. Once upon a time I ruled over fear and it had no place in my crafting life, or in my ability to share my experiences, that was of course my life before my blog, back when my crafts were for my eyes only (and anyone else brave enough to enter my humble abode) and my trials and struggles and feelings of inadequacy were only for the ears of my closest friends. It’s funny how we suddenly let fear take over when its time to share our stuff/our thoughts with the proverbial world. I mean I’m not saying my stuff is seen by millions, but even just one person out there in internet world was enough for me to let fear try to get me to just stop trying.
Well I am happy to say that those days are now behind me. I just don’t care anymore. If you like it, great, if not well that’s great too. I am happy to share my mistakes, my near misses and my successes with y’all because I finally realized that we are all going through the same things and having the same misgivings about ourselves. Will they like it?
Will they like me?
Will they hate it?
Am I good enough?
Will they think I’m crazy?
Surely I’m not good enough.
But so and so over there is soooo much more talented than me, my stuff really won’t matter to anyone, my experiences won’t help anyone, who am I to think I could help anyone when I’m not nearly perfect myself?
We all have so much to give that we often sell ourselves short. We forget that we too have something to give to the world. We forget that God ordained us for our own mission too. Somewhere along the way we start to question whether we are good enough for the world instead whether we are good enough for ourselves. Who cares if we are good enough for the world? The world really doesn’t matter (no offense). But I promise you that there is someone out there who needs you, who needs to hear what you have to say, who needs to lean on you and wants to learn from you. Just one person truly does matter more than the world. The one person whose life you can change just because you weren’t afraid to share of yourself, means more than a whole world of people whose opinions really carry no merit.
You never know who will cross your path in this journey through life, who will need to see your Gray dots and see you carrying them with pride. I’ve leaned on so many amazing woman so far in my life who have carried me when I no longer had the strength to stand and I hope that by sharing my stories that I will be able to be that strength for others. I hope that by embracing who I am and knowing that I am enough, that I can help others see that they are enough too.
BECAUSE YOU ARE ENOUGH!