Lets be honest for a minute.
Can we do that?
Lets put all judgement and criticism aside.
Being a mom is hard!!
And some days we are not always perfect.
Some days we yell.
Some days we lose our patience.
And some days we just want to put ourselves in time out. We want to run and lock the door and hide for a little bit.
There are some days where it takes every ounce of energy and love I have to not just quit and go cry in my bedroom.
And on occasion I even say a thing or two to my children that I regret.
Sometimes I call one of them a brat (even though they are probably being ones, its still not okay for me to call them that.) Sometimes I tell them that “I don’t care”, when they are in trouble for something particularly bad and they are trying to explain to me why they did it.
And dare I say it?
Sometimes I lose my cool and YELL, a lot!
But the beauty of all of this is that we all make mistakes.
We have all done these things at one point or another.
We have all been a mom we swore as a kid we would NEVER be.
We have done things that we hated when our parents did them to us.
And most importantly we have all (hopefully) learned from these mistakes.
This does not mean that we never repeat our mistakes, but it does mean that we TRY, we try really hard, to not do them again.
The problem with a lot of this is that we as women don’t want to ever talk about our mistakes or our weaknesses.
We don’t want to admit defeat and we don’t want to confess our “sins” as mothers to others.
I think the main reason (aside for fear of judgement or appearing imperfect) that we don’t admit these things to others, especially to other women, is that saying it out loud to someone else means it really happened.
Something I have learned over the years is that we all do this.
I have learned that when I talk about it I feel better.
When I listen to other moms and their struggles, I feel a bond and a kinship.
I find a renewed sense of strength when I learn that I am not really alone in my journey through motherhood. I find courage in the fact that I am not the only one “making mistakes” as I learn each day to be a better mom.
I often laugh and utter a big sigh of relief when I see another mom going through a “trial” that I have gone through all too many times myself.
It gives me a glimpse into the real world.
I see in those small moments that I am not alone.
I can see then that we are all on this path as mothers together.
We should all walk this path hand in hand.
We should share with each other our trials and our pains.
We should live as women and mothers united together.
The perfect front that we often can put on, does nothing to help each other survive our journey.
Often times when we hide our journeys from each other we hurt each other.
We unwittingly paint motherhood in a easy light.
While motherhood is amazing and wonderful its not always easy.
Some things that have helped me get through my trials as a mother have been listening to other mothers talk about their trials, their joys and their mistakes.
One of the ways I often do this is by reading books.
I try to read a little bit from motherhood books every day.
These books give me a renewed since of strength and help me traverse this crazy maze of motherhood.
I am going to share with you, my readers, some of my favorite mothering books.
These books have been through a lot with me.
Many of the books have tear stained pages and have seen better days.
These books are my mothering bibles!
They strengthen me, help me and make my journey a tad bit easier.
And most importantly they let me know that I am NOT alone.
They show me that the path I walk each day is a crowded path, full of all of us moms who are just trying to guide our little ducklings in the right direction.
The first one, is in fact the Bible and Book of Mormon.
This is the parenting/life guide book.
I love this book.
I love that God in his infinite knowledge knew that we would NEED this book to survive our journey on this earth.
He knew it would be the book to guide us through each and every journey we would take while on this earth,
I know as mother I often find myself saying, “I wish this kid came with a guide book.”
And while each particular kid may not come with a guide book, there is a guide book for all of us.
I turn to the scriptures when I am at my weakest, and when I am at my strongest.
I always find the answers that I need to hear, and often not the answer I was expecting.
The next 5 books are the books that have been at my bedside many a night.
These are the books I want to share with you.
They are not in any particular order.
Mothering with Spiritual Power (go here to see this book)
I can not even begin to tell you how much I LOVE this book.
I found this book one day while I was browsing the book store.
I had been having a really hard time with the fact that Noah was about to deploy to Iraq and I had been praying a lot for some guidance and help with being a single mother of two for 8 months.
This book called out to me and it was one of my lifesavers while he was gone.
This book takes scriptural passages and applies them to our lives as mothers.
The author takes scriptures combined with her own crazy mothering life and teaches about how she learned from her mothering “mistakes”, through spiritual power.
It teaches us that the scriptures really are a guide book in this crazy world.
I talked about this book several years ago. Go here to read that post.
My love for this book has increased so much more ever since then. Its a wonderful book.
I was at a Time Out for Women (go here to read about what Time out for Women is and go here to see this book) a few years ago, right after I had my third child and I heard Linda Eyre and Shawni Pothier speak.
When I was little my mother talked often about Linda Eyre, so it was a really amazing experience for me to hear her speak.
It was there that I fell in love with her daughter, Shawni Pothier.
I am an avid follower of her blog 71toes . I love to watch and listen to her talk about her life.
I love the honesty that she has and I love getting a glimpse into another moms life.
She gives me strength and hope when I read her words.
After the TOFW I bought The Mothers Book of Secrets and read it in a day.
I laughed and I cried.
I could relate to so much and I learned so much.
I still go back and pick this book up.
Each chapter is only a page or two and when I have a few spare minutes I will go and read a little bit and get a renewed zest for mothering.
I was spending an afternoon perusing Desert Book and trying to find just the right book to feed my mothering guidance need one day.
I came across The Mother in Me ( go here to see this book) and picked it up.
I found it right before I had my fourth child and after she was born this book sat in her bedroom right next to her chair.
Early morning and late at night when Aowyn and I were having our “feeding date” I would pick this book up and read a story.
I can not even begin to tell you how much this book helped me get through my post partum depression that I was suffering. (I wrote about this here.)
This book helped me end every day and start every day on a positive note.
I found myself longing for a quiet feeding time so that I could read more.
Things I wish I’d known Sooner ( go here to see this book) was a book that sat on my mothers shelf when I was young.
I saw it many times but it never really interested me.
Fast forward 8-10 years and I am a young mother of her first child.
I found this book at a thrift store and remembered seeing it on our families bookshelf as a kid, so many times for so many years. I decided to pick it up and I am glad I did.
I learned a lot about the mother that I wanted to be and I learned some wonderful techniques for easier parenting.
The author talks about the things she has learned over the years of being a mother of TWELVE. (yep you read that right, TWELVE kids)
She shares her secrets with us on ways to simplify the world around us so that we can focus on being a better mother.
I Didn’t Plan to Be a Witch is another book by Linda Eyre. (go here to see this book.)
This is a book I found in the last few months and it has really helped me get through some of the current parenting trials I am facing.
She talks about the things she has learned in all her years of being a mother to nine kids.
I love reading a book by someone I admire and seeing that she was fighting the same battles I am currently fighting.
I love to see her struggles and her strengths because I can relate so much to them.
I love that she knows that none of us are perfect and that she lets us see her weaknesses.
I can relate so much to this book and I am grateful for Linda Eyre for putting this book out there and letting me have a place to go to find someone who walked along the path of motherhood, the same path that I am currently walking.
I love these books.
Each of them holds a special place in my heart.
Each of these books has helped me get through certain life trials.
And each of them are read over and over again and serve as a reminder to me that I am never alone on my pathway to becoming the Mother I want to be.
We all walk this path together.
We all stumble and fall sometimes, and sometimes we stop to help each other up along the way.
This is what motherhood is about.
I firmly believe the old say, “It takes a village to raise a child.”
We all work together and we all teach each other and we all learn from each other and in turn we are better for it and our kids are better for it.
I want to share these little nuggets of treasure with you.
Because after all, what good is for me to find out some tokens of wisdom if I am not going to share them with my fellow travelers?
Here are some links to these books in case you would like to purchase any or all of them.
(I am in no way affiliated with any of these books or authors, I just wanted to share some of my loves with you.)
I didn’t plan to be a witch
Things I wish I’d known sooner
Mothering with Spiritual Power
The Mother in Me
A Mothers book of secrets