I sometimes feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. I occasionally get the all consuming feeling that my trials are more then I can handle.
Yesterday Noah and I were sitting on the edge of our bed talking about everything that we had going on at that time and Noah let out a huge sigh and said, “I feel like we are getting beat up by life’s trials right now.” I agreed, it has felt that way lately. I have felt the pressure of life’s obstacle pushing down on my shoulders from so many different directions. I feel like as soon as I have a firm grip on one trial another one is rearing its ugly head.
All of us have to endure trials on a very regular basis. I am grateful for the relationship that I have with my Father in Heaven because those feelings of being trapped or weighed down with a trial don’t seem to last very long for me. Usually no more then a day here and there do I feel overwhelmed by it all and its in those moments that I kneel in prayer and ask Heavenly Father to help me endure the trial, happily. I ask him to take away the feelings of failure and the weight of the pressure that I have hanging out on my shoulders. I ask him to help me more clearly see his daily tender mercies and to help me see that my trials are for my own good. I often joke with Noah that we really need to learn what we are supposed to learn from each trial because I don’t want to go through that trial again, but the reality is each and every trial is a learning experience and a chance for growth. Someone once asked me which of my lifes trials would I have taken away from me if I could go back and chose. The answer is pretty easy, none of them (and Ive had some doozies) , I would chose to keep them all, because it is through them that I have come to be who I am today. Taking away any of my trials would be taking away from myself that little piece of beauty that I earned through enduring well my trial. I used to ask for God to take my trials away, but as I have grown I have realized that I need him to take away the pain, the fear and the debilitating feelings that trials cans bring and I need him to walk hand in hand with me through the trial.
I read a blog a few months back that said “God does give us more then we can handle but he doesn’t give us anything we can’t handle WITH HIS HELP.” I love the beauty in that. People often say that God doesnt give us more then we can handle, but thats simply not true, he gives us plenty of things we can’t handle. If he gave us trials we could handle then there would be no growing or turning to him for help and guidance and peace. He gives us more then we can handle on a very regular basis, but he will NEVER give us something we can’t handle with out also giving us his help. His hand is stretched out to help us always and lift us and relieve us from our pain. We are not capable of handling our trials on our own but we are always capable of handling them with his help.
I find myself turning to him with tears in my eyes often, pleading with him for help. I pour out my sorrows and fears unto him so that he can pour blessings back in. I don’t always get the answer that I want to the the questions I ask or to the pleadings of my heart but I always get peace followed by some type of answer. Recently I got an answer to a prayer that was really not the answer I wanted. In fact it was probably one of the farthest things from the answer that I wanted, however with that answer came an overwhelming amount of peace, Peace that I desperately needed. As the days have progressed I have prayed to ask Heavenly Father to help me continue to find peace in his answer and to continue to find happiness in that answer. Its baby steps to get to that full time feeling of peace for me this time, when I think about all that his answer entales and how its so far from some of the things we are striving for in our family I get a little sad, but then I simply ask to feel that peace again and the saddness leaves. I am finding small blessings that are coming out of the woodwork on a very steady basis, showing me that the Lords path is indeed, as always, the right path. I just love those tender mercies.
Whenever I hear a quote that has anything to do with enduring trials I write it down so that I can come back to read it often.
My all time favorite scripture was a revelation given to Joseph Smith, The Prophet, while he was in Liberty Jail. The conditions in Liberty Jail were horrible, the members of the Latter Day Saint faith were suffering from persecutions. Joseph Smith pleads with his Father to help them.
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And then the Lord answers in one of the most beautiful passages of scripture.
I try to remember that my time here on this earth is such a small span in time compared to the eternities. I pray daily and ask the Lord to help me ENDURE MY TRIALS WELL. I am reminded of Job who lost EVERYTHING, friends, wealth, family, job, home and everything else he possessed and he still praised the Lord and continued to commune with him in love.
I wanted to share with ya’ll some of my favorite quotes that I have come to cherish through out the last few years. Some of these quotes have come to me at different times in my life, while I was experiencing different trials and they have helped lift me to a higher, more peaceful and Christ centered plain.
“Every calamity that can come upon mortal beings will be suffered to come upon the few, to prepare them to enjoy the presence of the Lord…. Every trial and experience you have passed through is necessary for your salvation.” -Brigham Young
“Don’t be upset at something that is happening at 9 in the morning, when the grace of God is trying to reward you at 6 in the evening.” – Elder Jeffery R. Holland
“God loves us just the way we are, but he loves us enough to not leave us like this. He is not done with us yet. He knows we can be better and he wants that for us.” -Brad Wilcox
Jeremiah 31:16-17
“Thus saith the Lord: Refrain they voice from weeping, and thine eyes from tears: for thy work shall be rewarded, saith the Lord…. and there is hope in thine end, saith the Lord.”
“Why did the Lord put Abraham through the experience of being asked to sacrifice his own son? Obviously God knew that Abraham would be willing to do anything God commanded, and if that was so, why did the Lord put him through such a test? Abraham needed to learn something about Abraham.” -Hugh B. Brown
When we withhold nothing from the Lord he will withhold nothing from us.
“The Saviors gift of grace to us is not necessarily limited in time to ‘after’ all we can do. We may receive his grave before, during and after the time when we expend our own efforts.” – Bruce C. Hafen
“Grace shall be like a day. As dark as night may become we can always count on the sun coming up. As dark as our trials, sins and mistakes may appear, we can always have confidence in the Grace of Jesus. We don’t earn a sunrise. It always just comes. It’s constant.”-Brad Wilcox
“It was meant to be that life would be a challenge. To suffer some anxiety, some depression, some disappointment, even some failure is normal. Teach our members that if they have a good miserable day once in awhile, or several in a row, to stand steady and face them. Things will straighten out. There is great purpose in our struggle in life.”-Boyd K. Packer
“For the last days are not for the faint of heart or the spiritually out of shape. There will be days when we feel defeated, exhausted and plain old beat-up by life’s whiplash. People we love will disappoint us and we will disappoint them. We’ll almost certainly struggle with some kind of physical appetite, and perhaps several. Some days it will feel as though the veil between heaven and earth is made of reinforced concrete. And we may even face a crisis of faith. In fact, we can count on experiencing trials that will test our faith because how do we know if we really have a testimony, if we’ll really obey, if we really want to be honest and chaste and virtuous, and if we really believe in Jesus Christ, if those things aren’t put to the test.“- Sheri Dew
(The quote by Sheri Dew came to me during a time when I was experiencing a great trial. I had just gotten diagnosed with Graves Disease and the world seemed very bleak. I laid in bed for days wallowing in my own self pity. I had a friend come lay in bed with me and try to make me feel better but nothing seemed to help. After a few days I asked my husband for a Priesthood blessing, {go here to find out more about those} I needed to feel peace and comfort and needed to find the faith and strength to get back on my feet and start enduring well my trial. My blessing was beautiful and brought me great strength. I was told that my trial would not last forever and that through my experiences I would be able to help other people. I was told that my trial was not mine alone but that it would be for other people’s good as well. I was told to share my story and help others find their strength through my strength and faith in the Lord. At the end of the blessing, with tears rolling down my face I felt the great power of my Savior and I realized that I could not tell him no. I could not ask for my trial to be taken from me because it was not just a trial for me, it was a trial to bless others. How could I say no to that? How could I tell the Lord that I didn’t want the blessings that would come through this trial? I moved on from that blessing with comfort and strength and that very same night I ran across the quote by Sheri Dew. I was not exempt from trials because I had faith in the Lord. I was not the only one experiencing trials that shook ones self to their very core. I want to let my Lord shape me and mold me into who he needs me to be. He sees my great potential and I often times need to pass through trials to understand my strength and to strengthen my testimony.)
“The Lord allows us to be tried and tested, sometimes to our maximum capacity. We have seen the lives of loved ones, and maybe our own, figuratively burned to the ground and have wondered why a loving and caring Heavenly Father would allow such things to happen. But he doesn’t leave us in the ashes; he stands with open arms, eagerly inviting us to come to him. He is building our lives into magnificent temples where his spirit can dwell eternally.”-Linda Reeves
“There will be times when you will walk a path strewn with thorns and marked by struggle. There may be times when you feel detached—even isolated—from the Giver of every good gift. You worry that you walk alone. Fear replaces faith. When you find yourself in such circumstances, I plead with you to remember prayer.”- Thomas S. Monson
Prayer can change the darkest of nights into the most brightest and glorious of days. There is great Power and Strength in falling to our knees in fervent, soul searching prayer. The Lord has promised us access to all of his great Love and all of his great Power, we need only ask. Knock and it shall be opened to you, seek and yea shall find. I hope that when we are all going through such all consuming trials that we turn to the Lord and pour our hearts out unto him. When we pour out our sufferings, our sorrows, our unbelief and our pain unto the Lord in sacred prayer he is able to pour back into us peace, comfort, strength and ultimate endurance. Turn to the Lord in times of sorrow and in times of peace, he is always there, no matter how long it has been since you last spoke with him. He is anxiously awaiting our call to him.
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